MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! :D

Merry christmast to all of you! :D
I supposed to attend one christmas party, at last i wasn't there, and i watched one movie, SHERLOCK HOMLET!! :) cheers!~

last week was my hectic week, i didn't have enough sleep AT ALL!! Rush for assignment, and some more i need to prepare myself for that music camp. At last i managed to complete both tasks! hahaha :D

from now onwards i don't want to think negative! think positive! I THINK OF VACATIONS!!!! :D I want to travel alone! :D heheheh

I will not think about my coming semester, i know it will be a disaster to me! I'm not going to suffer myself...

Isn't she lovely, by stevie wonder

:D Cheers!

Jingle bell jingle bell jingle all the way!!!

Happy New Year!!!

New year has come, I need to prepare myself for a brand new ME! I just finally get myself off from all my programs (Exams, music camp, assignments), but i still have some functions till 25th of Dec. Before that I plan to watch a concert on christmas day (25th of dec), due to my friends informed me that i'll have function on 25th!!! too bad... I can't watch that performance :(

But then... i still have another plan after my functions :) I will outstation for few days right after christmas!! :D where will i go? :) i will upload my photos when i reach kl :D

In this month i joined 2 big events, a performance (5th of dec) and a music camp (17th-20th of dec) :D

Erm... seems like my connection is having problem again... can't upload photos yet :(

I'M FREE!!!

I've done with my theory exams!!! hahaha.. but still i have one more exam on wed.....
Had chinese orchestra performance at klang, it was average... but still i felt released!
In this whole week, i was just studying and memorizing HARDLY! Overall, I was satisfied with all my theory exams, did pretty well :D

What's my plan next in this month? :D
Working, practice and do some research about my plan to taiwan next year. :) (hopefully can meka it!:D)
and also
I might outstation to.... No where yet!:D HAHAH....

In this month, i will use my time WISELY especially thinking of my future planning... and also my gain my knowledges... :D

before doing these, I will watch 2012 TOMORROW!!!!

Exam :D

Cool! I did 2 EXAMS, Japanese and English... Satisfied with my answering :D

Tuesday 01.12.2009 - Pengajian Budaya

Wednesday 02.12.2009 - Music Theory

Friday 04.12.2009 - Music History

Wednesday 09.12.2009 - Ear training

After these exams.. I will be FREE!!
I will work hard to accomplish all exams!!!! :D I CAN DO IT!!!

Ganbatte Kudasai to all my friends! :D
Cheers!

休息是让自己能走得更远? Busy? pretend busy?

Haha.. i found that my blog title is getting sarcastic :D I think it is because i'm still stuck in my stress and problems that I can't find solution... But nevermind, i will find my solution in this coming semester break.

What made me so busy enough, till i don't have time to update my blog? What i can say, busy running here and there... busy on my work, assignments, coming theory exams. The only exam i've settled was my practical exam. My practical exam was pretty good, although i didn't have much time to practice, but i'm satisfied :D

For the other exams... What can i say? No confident? or no mood to study? haha.. right now is around 3.35am, and i'm still online and update my lonely blog... :D I shouldn't online, i should study my Japanese, Budaya, theory etc....

I still remember one of my friends told me, 休息是让自己能走得更远 Do you agree?
Or i should totally REST?
Seriously, I don't have much free time to hang out with friends, to yamcha or shopping... But... Do i enjoy my busy life? with no TARGET? hehe :D

this is the question i need to think about it, and I should find out the solution before i get explode! :D

I need to stay away from my PC today onwards.. no MSN, no YM, no FACEBOOK, no BLOGGING!

STAY AWAY FROM ME!!!!

my limit?

Can i overcome my limit? or i need to give up? Should i take agressive action? or let it be?
or USE them :D haha (EVIL SMILE)

What are my problems now? do i know my problems? or i cover and don't want to admit my problem? or I 'know' my problems?

trust?

信不信是一杀那的瞬间。
当我相信了，我就会相信他/她。当我不相信了，我会毫不犹豫不会选择相信他/她。

对我而言，信用是非常重要，而且我也是容易相信他人，往往朋友都会取笑我为什么这么地容易相信人，但这是我的本性:D

然而，我会照顾自己，让自己好过！

RELEASE TENSION SONG LIST!!! :D

for those who have 烦恼, this is a best song to SCREAM OUT!!!! :D By Jacky Cheung :D

Who wants to 'FLY', listen to this song!!!!! FLY AS HIGH AS POSSIBLE!!!! By 飞儿乐团

WHO WANTS TO GET HIGH FOR 3 DAYS 3 NIGHTS, SING THIS!!! :D by A-Mei

improvement?

lost confident?
start over again?
understand what i 'need' to do?
forget every single negative matters?
放手？
坚持?

friend

in the afternoon, had a great talk with my friend who is studying at manchester. although we didn't meet for a year, but we still can talk as much as we can :D
for some friends, although i didn't meet them for long time, but we don't have the same topic to talk about, what i can describe?? no chemistry between us? haha... being friend is all about 缘分. :D I will keep in touch with each friend of mine :D cheers! :D

sunrise

such a long time i didn't hear this song, it's from norah jones. It is a light jazz, lovely song. it inspires me! sunrise, which means a brand new day! new day new target!

within this month, I was too emotional... couldn't control my mind sometimes, and i need to cool down myself, and release tension! I'm sorry to some of my friends, because of my immature I might treat you guys badly. Really sorry about this

seriously, i really need to plan what i 'need' to do, and not to do what i 'like'! this is what i'm doing now, decline invitation to hang out with friends, yamcha.. just to focus what i 'need' to do!

and somehow, i manage myself to force myself to do something in one shot... and not to repeat the same things, need to understand 'what am i doing NOW'. don't get blur girl!

change?

what did i 'change' within these few years?

1. getting fat!

2. being strong and independent

3. not afraid of voicing out!! it's my right to fight for it!

4. i think more before i do anything... think more and don't talk more.

5. Time management is better... :) but need to improve more and more... :D


do what i need to do... focus! really concentrate, and don't bother anything else! but still i won't let them to turn me down!

cheers! :D

2 years ago, i did a decision to extend my study and i did manage to accomplish my final in this year. Looking back, i proud to myself for struggling in these two years and I need to begin my instrument study from ZERO!! Right now, what i am facing now.. is how to overcome my study mood... Am i strong enough to face it? or i can gamble it, should try to the other place? can i control my emotion and feeling?

after had a serious discussion with lecturers, I found my way... what i can do right now, don't border anymore... do it.. and get away! of course as soon as possible!

i don't want just a 'paper' , i want a valuable 'paper' and it'll help on my career and i enjoy my studies! right now, i'm not enjoying my studies anymore, i need to find out WHY?

未来？

刚刚与几位老师讨论了我的不满及不安。不安是因为我对于课程的疑问及无奈，不满是对于上课的意念已经不在了！

在这几个星期，依然若无其事地去上课，没有过问任何的事情，只是麻木地‘上课’，我对于小考都不在乎，这不是我，一直以来，我都非常注重这些事件，不曾让自己有机会错过任何能获取好成绩的机会，但现在的我，已经没有念书的意念了，这是为什么？是我对他们已经完全失望了，还是我的想太多呢？

其实，我是有答案，只是我不敢去面对。
面对是一种痛苦的事情，虽然如此，我必须面对，我会作出最好的选择，我会 努力的，不会放弃！

颓废？

自从假期后，我感觉我冲劲已经不在了，连我的老师也这么认为！
这到底是为什么？是我的问题？是环境的问题？还是我应该走了呢离开这不平静的地方呢? 还是我该留下来在观察呢?

我是时候要休息了!我不应该再这么操劳!!应该学会放手!!说是非常简单,但我能做到吗?

lazy bump!

no mood? = lazy?

seriously i'm don't have mood in these few days... i don't know why, i'm TOO MOODY and EMOTIONAL! why?

Actually i know what is the reason, i just don't want to face it :( but... I NEED TO FACE IT!!!!

a week!

What i did within these few days?

Mon : Had violin lesson, luckily i did well on my RH, but my intonation was worst! Later on had pipa class, kinda did well in the class :D chat lots with my teacher too.. Had a great day! :D

Tues: had classes in the morning till afternoon 4pm, right after that had composition class :D after the class had a great chat with my teacher too :D haha... Chat for two days!!! :D

Wed: had presentation in the morning, overall went well :D Good job to all my partners and friends :D after that, watched a movie, 意外. this is sort of thriller movie, although the story is simple but it's kinda scary!! :D hahaha... but it made me think a lot about humanity

Today, work and study :D

Hope everything goes well...

GREAT NEWS!!!!

I love great news... :D

I GOT MY VIOLIN EXAM RESULT!!! got merit...I would like to thank to my teacher, mr azlan and my accompaniment teacher, mr. fairuz for their teaching and helps!!! really appreciate!

Actually i didn't have much confident on this exam, actually i didn't prepare well and didn't have much time on my preparation, really struggle and nervous before the exam!!! But I'm glad, i did TWO main examinations, one is my PETA (final) recital, and my violin exam!!! :D GREAT NEWS!!!!

I will work hard and pay MORE MORE MORE concentration on my study!!! :D

tomorrow

I've 2 important classes tomorrow!!! In the morning, i will have violin class... I hope everything goes well! And I hope what I practiced within these few days can improve my technical skills!! :D 加油!

after the class, i need to go to college for another instrumental class! I hope the same thing on my pipa class. Worry too! :D

I put efforts and concentrations on these two dearest babies!!!! :D Love them very much!!!

TOMORROW IS MY DAY!!! GREAT DAY!!! :D

Making life beautiful

I went to a concert in this afternoon, actually i didn't plan this too... i saw an advertisement in newspaper last week and i noticed my two dearest teachers are involved!!!! haha... i double confirm with my teachers about their performance, and i went to Jaya One at PJ area. It's a brand new area, with various kind of restaurants (korean, japan, western, chinese etc) and cold storage too! I will ask my friends to come over here next time :D

PJLA is a nice theater hall, although it's kinda small (about 250-300 people) but the sound system is fine!! :D Seriously I didn't know about the style and form of performance, when i went into the hall, i just noticed many senior citizens!!! I think i'm the only teenager... Actually this was a charity performance, and the organizer invited some senior citizen organizations to watch.

The performance was GREAT!!! with strong players and vocalist - (one of my teacher did all the arrangements, and another teacher played chinese instruments :D) and with good arrangments!!! :D Repertoires are mostly oldie songs... I really enjoyed the whole performance :D
CHEERS!! :D

WORK HARD TOMORROW ONWARDS!!! :D

成长?

在这假期,我并没有放松自己,一直都在思考自己的动向,最近的状况,自己的情绪及不安.

我真的可以把一切不愉快的事情忘记吗?
我自问我不可以忘记,但这是我的不成熟吗?
许多事情的发生让我不能再'多管闲事'了,此时的我只能专注于我的学业,忘了一切我不该知道的事!我的'无知'是否会平衡我的情绪呢?

许多朋友都给予我劝告,放开放手吧!我这认识非常执著及像只牛,指挥往前冲不顾一切!

应该vs喜欢

after 4 days, my busy life will begin!!

In these few days, i manage myself to do what i plan :D (做应该做的事, 不该做喜欢的事）
Although my friends called me out for yamcha or dinner, usually i will go out with them without thinking about my tasks that i need to do. For now, i need more concentration on my studies especially on my instrumental study!! NO REASONS FOR SHOPPING AND HANGING OUT!!!

I CAN DO IT!! :D

hair cut!!!

Haha.. finally i cut my hair... :D light and easy!! :D
cheers!

sucks sucks sucks

i don't know what happened with my pc... i can't search info through web search machines neither one!! after several minutes.. i can't log in to facebook anymore...

ARGH!!! i'm going crazy!!!

does this mean i need to stop online now? dear pc... jangan merajuk!!!!

快速提升能力的3件事 From red tomato newspaper :D

1. 做“应该做”的事

人每一段时间都会“发奋图强”，因为“新鲜感”使然！短期的冲动，能否带来长期的效应，实在有待考验！每个人的成功，并非“一时”冲动，而是要“一直”冲动！没有耐心的人，一旦在工作上碰到瓶颈，就会转换跑道，如果是这样的话，老扳如何能确定你是一位“可以”信任的人，而放心得把更大的任务较带给你呢？做你“应该做”的事，就是也许你不习惯，不喜欢，但是为了大前提着想，你还得让自己有力量的去做！

2. 做“很难做”的事

工作的熟悉度会松懈你的斗志！如果工作没有新的挑战，就会“耽误”你的生命，没有困难的工作，只不过是用你的时间在换取薪金，哪有什么意思呢？人非赚钱的机器。最简单的方法，只要提高工作目标就可以了！

3. 做“没做过”的事

人生更大的成就，总是来自“未知”的领域！做“没做过”的事，并非要转换工作，在现在的工作加入创意，就有焕然一新的感觉！创作也都是人们用新的创意，请多开放自己，允许自己去“尝试”，因为那是“可能性”的营养来源！

Holiday!

My holiday starts today! :D

Today (19.9.09), spend my time at sungai wang and class

20.09.09 (first day of hari raya), hang out with friends to bukit bintang area mostly at pavillion. around 5pm i have to leave to pandan indah for my dearest friend's birhtday dinner! :D haha..

21.09.09 - 27.09.09, have to start my assignments and practices (need to plan, practice 3-4 hours a day!) No excuses for other activities! have to concentrate....

26.09.09 (night) - might attend a concert at PJ :D Hope i can make it! :D

27.09.09 - might have a extreme activity! :D hahahaha... thanks to my friend nicole! :D

will update :D
cheers! happy holiday to my friends! :D

today! :D

such a long time i didn't walk alone and window shop! :D haha....
had composition class at kepong till 1.30pm, reached sungai wang around 2pm, had lunch... after my lunch began my journey... although this was wasting my time, but i did enjoy! :D almost 9 months i always busy on my studies, performances and other important matters, i didn't shop at all with friends and my family! haha... even my time with family were not much. :D

after hang out around, met my old friend :D glad she is doing well on her study, and she will graduate next year! bless her! :D although we didn't talk too much (because she wanted to go back) and we know we will meet one day! really miss her so so so much! :D

讽刺？

今天我过得很充实，做了应该做的事，没有浪费时间在电脑前只是专注于自己的事情，练了该练练的。大概五点钟，我出门到学校，去学校前我已经有预感我的课应该会提早上，哈哈，不出我所料！课依然是需要调整，我依然需要非常专注上课的细节，这是我本能忽略的重要细节。

我真的不明白，漂亮可壳会有人欣赏吗，难道没有人会注意内涵吗？有钱并不代表可以随心所欲的浪费，这是我今天的感触！有钱就有喜筵，当我们要求一些我们所需的物件，就说没钱！多么的讽刺！

这也是其次，昨天早上我到了一间油站，身为一位收营员，最终要是招待客人，但他们并没有好好地对待我，对我没礼貌。哈哈，这也是我耍本领的时候，我没给面子他们，训了他们一顿。尽早我也致电到其公司，诉说职员态度极差！！

我觉得身边的事情让我觉悟了，我并不能坐以待毙，行动是最实际！等，等，等，等，我讨厌等下去了！

虽然如此，我依然对我的学业是有耐心！哈哈！

Curious?

haha... some of my friends ask me why am i still single. they just can't accept that 'i'm still single' haha... amd some more, they are curious about my sexuality!!! hahaha.. they thought i'm..... :D

Of course Not!! I wish to have one, but he's not here with me yet! i will 'search' him! :D hahaha

断食计划

I noticed I'm getting dumb and easily get tired! It must be my weight problem, my BMI should be around 49kg, but right now my weight is 63kg, this is a long way for me to accomplish this mission! :D I will be positive and not put myself lots of pressure... but of course I will control it really tight! :D

details:

断食，梵文称为UPAVASA, 其意为神心灵保持最亲至高无上的意识。断食就是一段时间不吃东西。当人或动物在生病或痛苦时，往往会失去食欲而不想吃东西，这是因为身体不愿意再制造老废物，累赘物及酸读物等病原物质所产生的防疫反应，也是生物界自然疗法的一种本能。断食完全可以让肥胖者因此而达到瘦身的目的。今天断食已经成为了一种时尚。日本，台湾，韩国等地的少女，不少人进行迷你断食，也就是每周选一，二天只吃流质的食品，让常委的代谢更通顺，已达到美容和减肥的效果。

work hard!

What am i working hard so so much?
of course is my diet. Yesterday i really can hold myself of eatting junk foods and begin my 断食plan. This is a good start! :D

but today.... i broke the rules!!
My friends asked me for dinner... i tried not to eat anything, but just can't control myself! hahaha.... But i will exercise tomorrow morning!!!! :D

I can slim down!!! hehe... :D

Chinese Music Solo Competition (28.08.2009-30.08.2009)

this was a chinese national instrumental competition, it was held at Kuala Terengganu Taman Budaya, started on 28.08.2009 to 30.08.09. 10 of us decided to reach there early for our own preparation. Luckily all went well... although all of us lose, but we had a great time in these few days! Somemore, I get to know what is all about 华乐, and know more about the standard nowadays :D

actually i don't upload any photos yet... all of these photos i grab from my friend. Thanks a lot for them who tagged me! :D
CHEERS!!

terengganu trip day 1

terengganu trip day 2

terengganu trip day 3

terengganu trip day 4

Terengganu trip (27.08.09-31.08.09) day 5

Guildhall School of Music & Drama Workshop 18.08.09 (Tues)

Last week we had a workshop with guildhall UK.
This is one of the music examination boards in Malaysia... :D

All of us expected they will do personal master class on instrumentals.. but then, we got new influences!!! I like the way they handled this master class.. it really makes us feel comfortable. We get some great ideas of making composition by have some combinations of melodies and rhythms(such as transitions between 5/4 to 4/4).. all of us did a great job :D

I will always remember this great idea of making great music :D

have lots of fun with them.. they are great and friendly to all of us :D

Will upload photos soon :D

Just now my friend told me about her complicated relationship with someone...and another friend just got into relationship. i truly bless both of them. you know who you are :D hehe

relationship? this is a commitment between two human begin :D My friend told me when she needed someone and that person will be always there to listen all your problems. I wish i have one, but just not the time yet :D about my feeling... i do have one.. but then... i can't cross over it, it's impossible to me to make this decision!

sometimes, attraction (feeling) between two persons can be happen in few seconds, few minutes, few hours or few years. And i'm the person who get feeling so easily and forget the feeling easily hahahah :D

i'm not sure about his feelings towards me... or i'm just.....haiz... should i take a try? or just stay and wait?

too complicated!

two weeks time

I didn't blog for TWO WEEKS!!! what did i do within these two weeks? Frustrated... mad... not organised... feel like lost myself again!

i think mostly of you know what do i mean, i really really lost myself again! of course i didn't talk much about it, i don't really make my friends worry about me. I'm always chill always, pretend nothing happens.

about my studies... i don't feel excited of going there everyday, class as usual, nothing much suprises. but what i suprised about was my timetable will be change and change again! i hate this! why do i need to change? just because of those nonsense changements they have done, for me as a student, what can i do? do nothing just follow INSTRUCTIONS!

what should i do? should i keep quiet or voice out or pretend nothing happen? I know myself, i can't stop myself thinking about it, and i will not keep myself quiet anymore, i've been a 'good' girl for long time... this is the time i need to stand out to voice out!

坏消息！

昨天早上，在我要办妥一切事件，我爸爸突然说，外婆刚去世！
这几天我已经面对许多不愉快的事件，虽然我再上个星期三至星期五到金马伦一趟，但这并没有把握得忧郁及不愉快完完全全打消。

我一定会振作起来！加油！

Updates

已经一个星期没记录我的点点滴滴

上个星期六及星期日去IB练习08.08.09及15.08.09的演出，老实说我并没有做好准备，但我会尽我的所能，我就捧着这颗心，终于可以证明我们是可以做得到！！

星期一及星期二到学院上课，依然往常，我并没有多大的惊喜！因为我已经对他们的做事能力已经绝望！我极少对一件事极度失望，除非那件事我经历了许多努力但没结果，学院的事我已经历了，我希望我们所希望的事情会达成。

星期三至星期五，我与两位好友到金马伦三天两夜的旅游，第一天我们已经游玩全部的景点！哈哈，我们三位小姐还做了游玩的名单。哈哈! 第二天去了两个大景点....我们还去starbucks上网，在那我们仿佛在外国，因为只有我们三位是马来西亚公民，其他顾客都是外国游客... :D 第三天我们买了一大堆的蔬菜及sweet corn。

to my friends.. if you want to visit cameron highland... don't ever plan for 3 days 2 nights.... or else you will regret!! :D but this is a nice place to relax especially the wheather!! I do like lots... of course almost the time RAINING!!!! :D

right after this trip.. i went to genting (another vacation)... this is for orchestra performance at first world... we almost late for the first performance :D but we made it! first performance wasn't good... but the second was great! :D glad that we done it!

after the performance we went to theme park... ayeshah and i played 4 games!!!! I really screamed lots!!!! This really make my tensions reduce!!!!!haha :D good.. nice!

I will go to genting again next week... this time i will get on SOLERO!!! I will wait!!! SCREAM AGAIN!!!! :D

All the best to all of us for performance next week :D

The proposal!

YOU GUYS SHOULD WATCH THIS!!! :D

NICE AND FUN!!! xD