sunrise

such a long time i didn't hear this song, it's from norah jones. It is a light jazz, lovely song. it inspires me! sunrise, which means a brand new day! new day new target!

within this month, I was too emotional... couldn't control my mind sometimes, and i need to cool down myself, and release tension! I'm sorry to some of my friends, because of my immature I might treat you guys badly. Really sorry about this

seriously, i really need to plan what i 'need' to do, and not to do what i 'like'! this is what i'm doing now, decline invitation to hang out with friends, yamcha.. just to focus what i 'need' to do!

and somehow, i manage myself to force myself to do something in one shot... and not to repeat the same things, need to understand 'what am i doing NOW'. don't get blur girl!

change?

what did i 'change' within these few years?

1. getting fat!

2. being strong and independent

3. not afraid of voicing out!! it's my right to fight for it!

4. i think more before i do anything... think more and don't talk more.

5. Time management is better... :) but need to improve more and more... :D


do what i need to do... focus! really concentrate, and don't bother anything else! but still i won't let them to turn me down!

cheers! :D

2 years ago, i did a decision to extend my study and i did manage to accomplish my final in this year. Looking back, i proud to myself for struggling in these two years and I need to begin my instrument study from ZERO!! Right now, what i am facing now.. is how to overcome my study mood... Am i strong enough to face it? or i can gamble it, should try to the other place? can i control my emotion and feeling?

after had a serious discussion with lecturers, I found my way... what i can do right now, don't border anymore... do it.. and get away! of course as soon as possible!

i don't want just a 'paper' , i want a valuable 'paper' and it'll help on my career and i enjoy my studies! right now, i'm not enjoying my studies anymore, i need to find out WHY?

未来？

刚刚与几位老师讨论了我的不满及不安。不安是因为我对于课程的疑问及无奈，不满是对于上课的意念已经不在了！

在这几个星期，依然若无其事地去上课，没有过问任何的事情，只是麻木地‘上课’，我对于小考都不在乎，这不是我，一直以来，我都非常注重这些事件，不曾让自己有机会错过任何能获取好成绩的机会，但现在的我，已经没有念书的意念了，这是为什么？是我对他们已经完全失望了，还是我的想太多呢？

其实，我是有答案，只是我不敢去面对。
面对是一种痛苦的事情，虽然如此，我必须面对，我会作出最好的选择，我会 努力的，不会放弃！

颓废？

自从假期后，我感觉我冲劲已经不在了，连我的老师也这么认为！
这到底是为什么？是我的问题？是环境的问题？还是我应该走了呢离开这不平静的地方呢? 还是我该留下来在观察呢?

我是时候要休息了!我不应该再这么操劳!!应该学会放手!!说是非常简单,但我能做到吗?

lazy bump!

no mood? = lazy?

seriously i'm don't have mood in these few days... i don't know why, i'm TOO MOODY and EMOTIONAL! why?

Actually i know what is the reason, i just don't want to face it :( but... I NEED TO FACE IT!!!!

a week!

What i did within these few days?

Mon : Had violin lesson, luckily i did well on my RH, but my intonation was worst! Later on had pipa class, kinda did well in the class :D chat lots with my teacher too.. Had a great day! :D

Tues: had classes in the morning till afternoon 4pm, right after that had composition class :D after the class had a great chat with my teacher too :D haha... Chat for two days!!! :D

Wed: had presentation in the morning, overall went well :D Good job to all my partners and friends :D after that, watched a movie, 意外. this is sort of thriller movie, although the story is simple but it's kinda scary!! :D hahaha... but it made me think a lot about humanity

Today, work and study :D

Hope everything goes well...

GREAT NEWS!!!!

I love great news... :D

I GOT MY VIOLIN EXAM RESULT!!! got merit...I would like to thank to my teacher, mr azlan and my accompaniment teacher, mr. fairuz for their teaching and helps!!! really appreciate!

Actually i didn't have much confident on this exam, actually i didn't prepare well and didn't have much time on my preparation, really struggle and nervous before the exam!!! But I'm glad, i did TWO main examinations, one is my PETA (final) recital, and my violin exam!!! :D GREAT NEWS!!!!

I will work hard and pay MORE MORE MORE concentration on my study!!! :D